From what you say to where you meet people, we've got everything down pat for you
So you got your tongue tied and ended up making a complete fool of yourself in front of Miss/Mr Gorgeous. Who doesn't? Even the most sauve among your friends has his/her share of boo-boos when it comes to the dating game. Which is why we have devised this guide to help you manoeuvre through the finer points of dating.
Tip #1: Be You
You can choose to be who you really are or forever hold a chance of being humiliated and caught lying. Don't claim to be a "NYSNC" fan when you're not just so you can get closer to him/her. It will come back to haunt you.
Tip #2: Scrap the poems and mushy love letters
Unless you are in a relationship, avoid putting things on paper. Your inner feelings might find its way around class, around school, and perhaps even on the Internet.
Tip #3: Solo rocks!
Do not approach the person of your dreams when he or she is in a group. It normally turns into a mess up! Wait for the moment when you're alone -- at the bus stop, between classes. Shop for the right time.
Tip #4: Compliments work
Compliment him for an answer in class, or compliment her for her funky hairdo. But tell the truth. Hit-and-run compliments work wonders too. Compliment the person as you are passing in the hall and keep moving. It keeps the person thinking about you and yet, you don't have to worry about what to say next. It's not advised to do this too often though! Tip: Guys like being called "cute" but girls normally don't.
Tip #5: Nickname the person
Let's say you meet at an art class and he/she paints well. You could say something like "Man, are you good!" Next day at school when you pass in the hall, you call out "Hey, Arty!" This forms a bond between the two of you. However, not everyone likes nicknames. If the person doesn't seem to dig it, drop it!
Tip #6: Drop those pick-up lines
"Have we met before?" "You have eyes exactly like those my grandmother had." "God must have taken a lot of time to make you." "Someone call God because I think he's missing an angel."
Drop them, drop them all! Forever! They should be labelled "drop-off" lines to begin with. Be creative, say something you mean; something as simple as, 'Can I buy you a drink?'
Where The Cool People Are
Perfecting your little speech is pointless if you don't get to use it. Unsure where to begin? Here are some hangouts you can try.
Hangout #1: After school clubs or sports activity
People normally stay back for a game or curriculum activities after school. If you have similar interest, you could take on the same activity. The drama club normally has lots of loud and happening people.
Hangout #2: Shopping malls
Lots of teenagers hang out at shopping outlets in flocks. Places like Wisma Atria, The Heeren and Takashimay are full of them. You can also take up a part time job at such places or meet someone who is working there.
Hangout #3: At the library
Now that libraries are being with 'cool surroundings', they are becoming a popular hangout. You could visit the library at Marina Parade, the one at Orchard or the 'new' main branch at Bras Basah Road.
Hangout #4: Coffee joints
Lots of cool people hang out or work at "branded" coffee outlets, especially those at Orchard. We suggest you know more about lattes, fraps and the different sized -- before stepping in. Working part-time at such places could be interesting as well.
Hangout #5: Public transport
At MRT stations, in the trains, at bus stops, or in the bus, there are always cuties who catch our attention. But be warned: approach people with caution and tact because strangers can be intimidating in such places. Go for something like, "Do you know how to get to the Night Safari?"
Hangout #6: The beach on a Sunday
The beaches are spilling with skateboarders, cyclists, roller-bladers, or simply having a picnic. Again, you could ask for directions or use your creative mind and go with something else. NOT "Hey baby, you're fine. Can I have your number?" That is plain cheesy!
Dating Misconceptions Busted!
Heard the bit about guys going only for hot babes and only cute guys need apply for girls? Perhaps good-looking people get their first dates with more ease, but when it comes to the second, everyone has a fair chance. It's your personality, communication skills and, of course, the chemistry between the two of you that matter. So drop the 'he's too cute for me' or 'she's beyond my reach' attitude. All that does is pull down your self-confidence and make you look pathetic. Go for it. Give it all you've got and if it doesn't work out, at least you know you gave it a shot! Good luck!
Guys - First Date Etiquette
» Do as you've said. If you asked her to go out for a movie, go for a movie. If you promised that she would be home by eight, get her home by eight.
» Take her to a public place; she will feel less intimidated.
» Open the door for her. These sorts of gentlemen traits are starting to lack, it will impress her. But don't make a big deal out of it -- you don't have to run for the door or anything like that. If you miss it, there is always another one.
» Pay unless you are going for a "just friends" ending. Some girls like being independent, but since it's your first date with her, go with, "I asked, I will pay".
» Involve some "activity" like a movie, play or concert. This maintains a more coomfortabel situation. Of course, keep some time after that for the two of you to talk.
» Kissing her? Girls are like traffic lights, they always send out signals so look out for them! If she doesn't seem comfortabel, don't.
Girls - Getting His Attention
Guys usually do the 'running after' and 'asking out' so they may not know how to react when someone does their job for them. The trick lies in getting him to ask you out.
Guys love attention. So give it to him. One way in, since they are constantly looking for the nearest mirror or reflection panel (ha! and you thought only girls do that) to admire themselves, imitate his movements. When he crosses or uncrosses his arms, do the same. And laugh at his jokes -- no matter how so-not-funny they are.
Use you hair as one of your weapons. Rearrange your hair in front of him -- guys dig this. If you want to go a step further, ask him to do it for you; start with a hairpin or something. He won't do it well, but that's besides the point.
Guys can be real nincompoops at times, so make sure you send out extremely obvious signals. Brush your hand against his and say that you're sorry. Ask for his phone number and do all it takes for him to get the fact that you are interested. Blushing and smiling alone means nothing.
When on your first date, don't insist that he splurges on you, unless you want it to be your last. Also, talking about ex-boyfriends is not very appealing. Try to maintain a balance between the two of you when it comes to talking; listen, too. Some guys don't like it when you insist on leaving early, so make the time clear before the date and don't spring any surprises.
Labels: cheesy pick-up lines, complimenting, dream date, nicknames, tongue tied
