Don't wreck your dream date with careless words and deeds. Get this guide to what he or she wants, and it'll be a "no-sweat" date for you
I'm sorry, but I need to wash my hair..." "Sorry, I'm going to the zoo with my brother..." Enough of lame excuses! It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that the hottie you want to date already has squeaky clean hair. And since when was there a younger brother? But after many tries, you get a "yes". And there's no way you are going to spoil it by saying or doing something stupid.
The Guys' Guide To What She Wants
Contrary to popular belief, girls aren't necessarily attracted to macho guys rippling with muscles and those who act cooler than they really are. Girls would rather accept a gentlemanly guy over all the Stallone wannabes anytime. And the moment you see a girl all dressed up for the date, tell her she looks nice. She had probably spent an hour in front of her cupboard choosing her outfit, plus another hour doing her nails and hair. But don't overdo the flattery, or it'll seem fake. If she's carrying something other than her handbag, offer to help her with the load. And when you approach a door, remember your manners and hold it open for her. In the past, the only guys who could get away with not opening doors for their dates were cavemen (because they didn't have doors). When crossing the road, stand on the side that faces the oncoming traffic. It adds a sense of security for her, knowing that it will not be her who'd get flattened like a pancake in the event of any accident.
When out in town, keep your eyes from straying. Don't stare at other girls, even if it is just the Pussycat Dolls on a poster. Your date might get jealous easily. Always give her your fullest attention by talking and listening to her attentively. This will also pay off when you need to get her a gift. Notice what she looks at when out shopping and ask her why she likes it. If she is drooling over a blue Swatch watch, it might be because of the color, not the brand. But if what catches her eye is a Rolex watch dripping with diamonds, think of ways to end the date quickly! No matter how tempted you are to check for incoming SMS, turn your handphone off. You wouldn't want it to ring just when things are heating up. When the bill comes, assume that you are paying for the meal, unless she offers to go dutch. And at the end of the evening, thank her for a wonderful time. Yes, I am serious about this. Manners hold an important place among adolescents, even in this day and age.
The Gals' Guide To What He Wants
Ok. So we've covered the guys. But what do the guys expect of the girl? Many gals harbour unworkable notions of what's attractive to guys, so it's high time we set the record straight.If you think that acting bored and nonchalant is THE way to "hook" a guy, forget it. The number one thing you shouldn't do is to act like you're not interested in him. If you show absolutely no enthusiasm during the date, he is likely to conclude that his time would be better spent watching his pet goldfish snore. So, show some appreciation for your date's efforts to please you. Even if you don't like the chocolates he gave you (you just started your diet!), thank him for the gift. You never know how much thought went into the present. And it helps to settle the poor guy's jittery nerves as well, knowing that you like the present.
When he asks you where you would like to go for dinner, be frank and decisive. "Up to you, darling" and "Anything is fine" aren't names of restaurants, as far as anybody knows. At the end of the meal, offer to pay for your share, unless you know for sure that your date is related to the King (or Queen) of England. Although most guys would graciously pay for their date's meal, don't assume that they are in the best of financial conditions. And if you are feeling generous, you could give him a treat instead. In times of trouble, be an angel and comfort him. A simple "Are you all right?" is very effective, if you don't know what else to say. Offer him your shoulder to cry on, if you can (Hey, guys have a soft side too). It'll be one of the sweetest thiings you can do for a guy.
On special occasions or birthdays, remember to get him a gift. Opt for something practical please, and not some white elephant. The gift should match his character. Is he sporty or is he a technical geek? You won't want to give a sports fanatic a romance novel. You could make his present by hand (sure to melt his heart). Still, the most important thing is to be sincere about it. Now, for the most mind-boggling part of the date. WHAT TO WEAR??!! Though slimpy black tops are alluring, your date may not be the only one appreciating your choice of clothes (watch out for perverts!). And you could also be sending out th wrong signals to your date; he may not think of you as the self-respecting, decent girl that you truly are. The foolproof fashion get-up? Clothes that you are comfortable om, that are not torn or stained, and that do not make you look like his older sister either.
Finally, be yourself. Your date didn't ask you out because you are the coolest girl on the face of this planet. He asked you out because you are you!
Labels: be yourself, dating tips, dream date, guide to dating, perfect date
From what you say to where you meet people, we've got everything down pat for you
So you got your tongue tied and ended up making a complete fool of yourself in front of Miss/Mr Gorgeous. Who doesn't? Even the most sauve among your friends has his/her share of boo-boos when it comes to the dating game. Which is why we have devised this guide to help you manoeuvre through the finer points of dating.
Tip #1: Be You
You can choose to be who you really are or forever hold a chance of being humiliated and caught lying. Don't claim to be a "NYSNC" fan when you're not just so you can get closer to him/her. It will come back to haunt you.
Tip #2: Scrap the poems and mushy love letters
Unless you are in a relationship, avoid putting things on paper. Your inner feelings might find its way around class, around school, and perhaps even on the Internet.
Tip #3: Solo rocks!
Do not approach the person of your dreams when he or she is in a group. It normally turns into a mess up! Wait for the moment when you're alone -- at the bus stop, between classes. Shop for the right time.
Tip #4: Compliments work
Compliment him for an answer in class, or compliment her for her funky hairdo. But tell the truth. Hit-and-run compliments work wonders too. Compliment the person as you are passing in the hall and keep moving. It keeps the person thinking about you and yet, you don't have to worry about what to say next. It's not advised to do this too often though! Tip: Guys like being called "cute" but girls normally don't.
Tip #5: Nickname the person
Let's say you meet at an art class and he/she paints well. You could say something like "Man, are you good!" Next day at school when you pass in the hall, you call out "Hey, Arty!" This forms a bond between the two of you. However, not everyone likes nicknames. If the person doesn't seem to dig it, drop it!
Tip #6: Drop those pick-up lines
"Have we met before?" "You have eyes exactly like those my grandmother had." "God must have taken a lot of time to make you." "Someone call God because I think he's missing an angel."
Drop them, drop them all! Forever! They should be labelled "drop-off" lines to begin with. Be creative, say something you mean; something as simple as, 'Can I buy you a drink?'
Where The Cool People Are
Perfecting your little speech is pointless if you don't get to use it. Unsure where to begin? Here are some hangouts you can try.
Hangout #1: After school clubs or sports activity
People normally stay back for a game or curriculum activities after school. If you have similar interest, you could take on the same activity. The drama club normally has lots of loud and happening people.
Hangout #2: Shopping malls
Lots of teenagers hang out at shopping outlets in flocks. Places like Wisma Atria, The Heeren and Takashimay are full of them. You can also take up a part time job at such places or meet someone who is working there.
Hangout #3: At the library
Now that libraries are being with 'cool surroundings', they are becoming a popular hangout. You could visit the library at Marina Parade, the one at Orchard or the 'new' main branch at Bras Basah Road.
Hangout #4: Coffee joints
Lots of cool people hang out or work at "branded" coffee outlets, especially those at Orchard. We suggest you know more about lattes, fraps and the different sized -- before stepping in. Working part-time at such places could be interesting as well.
Hangout #5: Public transport
At MRT stations, in the trains, at bus stops, or in the bus, there are always cuties who catch our attention. But be warned: approach people with caution and tact because strangers can be intimidating in such places. Go for something like, "Do you know how to get to the Night Safari?"
Hangout #6: The beach on a Sunday
The beaches are spilling with skateboarders, cyclists, roller-bladers, or simply having a picnic. Again, you could ask for directions or use your creative mind and go with something else. NOT "Hey baby, you're fine. Can I have your number?" That is plain cheesy!
Dating Misconceptions Busted!
Heard the bit about guys going only for hot babes and only cute guys need apply for girls? Perhaps good-looking people get their first dates with more ease, but when it comes to the second, everyone has a fair chance. It's your personality, communication skills and, of course, the chemistry between the two of you that matter. So drop the 'he's too cute for me' or 'she's beyond my reach' attitude. All that does is pull down your self-confidence and make you look pathetic. Go for it. Give it all you've got and if it doesn't work out, at least you know you gave it a shot! Good luck!
Guys - First Date Etiquette
» Do as you've said. If you asked her to go out for a movie, go for a movie. If you promised that she would be home by eight, get her home by eight.
» Take her to a public place; she will feel less intimidated.
» Open the door for her. These sorts of gentlemen traits are starting to lack, it will impress her. But don't make a big deal out of it -- you don't have to run for the door or anything like that. If you miss it, there is always another one.
» Pay unless you are going for a "just friends" ending. Some girls like being independent, but since it's your first date with her, go with, "I asked, I will pay".
» Involve some "activity" like a movie, play or concert. This maintains a more coomfortabel situation. Of course, keep some time after that for the two of you to talk.
» Kissing her? Girls are like traffic lights, they always send out signals so look out for them! If she doesn't seem comfortabel, don't.
Girls - Getting His Attention
Guys usually do the 'running after' and 'asking out' so they may not know how to react when someone does their job for them. The trick lies in getting him to ask you out.
Guys love attention. So give it to him. One way in, since they are constantly looking for the nearest mirror or reflection panel (ha! and you thought only girls do that) to admire themselves, imitate his movements. When he crosses or uncrosses his arms, do the same. And laugh at his jokes -- no matter how so-not-funny they are.
Use you hair as one of your weapons. Rearrange your hair in front of him -- guys dig this. If you want to go a step further, ask him to do it for you; start with a hairpin or something. He won't do it well, but that's besides the point.
Guys can be real nincompoops at times, so make sure you send out extremely obvious signals. Brush your hand against his and say that you're sorry. Ask for his phone number and do all it takes for him to get the fact that you are interested. Blushing and smiling alone means nothing.
When on your first date, don't insist that he splurges on you, unless you want it to be your last. Also, talking about ex-boyfriends is not very appealing. Try to maintain a balance between the two of you when it comes to talking; listen, too. Some guys don't like it when you insist on leaving early, so make the time clear before the date and don't spring any surprises.
Labels: cheesy pick-up lines, complimenting, dream date, nicknames, tongue tied