Are you stressed? You are not alone. Most teenagers experience stress usually due to school, parents and peers. While you can't totally eliminate stress from your life altogether, there are ways to managing it.
Stress. That's when our muscles tense, our breath becomes short and our heart starts to race. Stressful situations are abundant in our lives. But it is how we manager these situations that determines the damage done to us. With the help of 4 Gals n Boys, here are some stress-related scenarios you can identtify with and tips on how to deal with them.
Peer Pressure
All your friends are doing something you're not comfortable with. But you go along with it anyway because you don't want to be a party pooper. That's peer pressure. Peer pressure can occur in a direct straightforward manner as when your friends 'persuade' you to let them copy your homework or indirectly like when friends stop talking to you when you do not conform. At times, peer pressure can be a matter of perception. This happens when there is no logical or rational proof that your friends would reject you if you choose to act differently, yet you believe they would do so. Therefore, you conform, not to them, but to your own belief that they would reject you if we don't.
What can you do about it?
You should first realise that you don't have to be a part of a group in order to feel like you belong to something. In fact, it takes more courage to stand up and be an individual in your thoughts, words and deeds. Here's how you can deal with peer pressure.
AVOID IT Know where, how, when and who it is coming from, so that you may prevent yourself from being caught in the situation. For instance, if you know that a classmate is part of a group that vandalises school property and bullies students, avoid mixing with him/her so you won't be pressured to join in the trouble making.
FIGHT IT 'Fight' to be who you are - assert yourself. For example, if you do not like smoking, just say "No!". Being assertive is not being aggressive. It is being a self-confident person - somebody who has your own personal views and values, and who dares to stand up for those values. Dare to be different.
FLEE FROM IT When you feel that the pressure is too much to handle, be smart - flee from it! This may sometimes mean finding a different group of friends. Let's say you have made the mistake of joining a gang and realise that their activities are illegal. The best thing to do in this situatin is to stop mixing with the gang members and flee from the pressure to take part in gang activities. Fleeing is not being cowardly. It is being smart and courageous to be "true to yourself".
Stress from parents
Stress can also come from parents. It could be that they're pushing you for better grades, or that they even criticise your views because they are different from theirs. Sometimes they can create stress that neither you nor them realise. Like when parents argue with each other without regard to your feelings or when they place work before family. First you have realise that parents are not perfect. They make mistakes too. There isn't a Parenting Manual or a School for Parents that they can go to learn how to be a good parent. They too experience stress from work or the need to ensure that you do well in school. There is usually competition among parents to "show off" their child's academic results or compare it amongst their children to see who has done the best in the examinations. Though rather difficult in some instances, teens need to build a good relationship with parents. Healthy communication between the parties involved is always the best tool to begin with.
And if you think that your parents won't listen to you, ask youself: "How will I know unless I give it a try?" Just as you want your parents to give you a chance, how about trying to give them a chance? Their reactions might surprise you. Be patient with them because they might be going through a rough time in their lives and trying to cope with the various responsibilities too. So here's what you can do to built a better relationship with your parents:
» Let your parents know that you need their support, patience and love. Make them realise that you are willing to accept their views if they are willing to listen to yours.
» Parents can be unfair at times and this may make you angry. Don't discuss your complaints when either of you are angry or upset. Calm down and wait till they're in a good mood. Discuss your feelings later or in a few days.
» When discussing complaints, opinions or requests, don't act in a rude manner. Don't raise your voice but instead discuss them matter in a normal tone. If you yell and shout, it will not get you anywhere. Stay calm and talk, they will be more willing to listen to what you have to say.
» Remember that compromising is the key to maintaining any form of relationship. Always be willing to hear each other out and work out the best possible solution. Be willing to meet some of your parents demands in order to get them to accept some of yours.
» If you feel that your parents don't understand you and that there is no way that you can talk to them without it turning into a huge argument, you can do two things. Either, write them a letter expressing how you feel or go to adults like a relative or family friend whom you are close to and seek their advice. Express your fears, feelings and concerns to them. They can in turn talk to your parents about it.
Exam Stress
The exams are around the corner. And the old familiar sense of panic and fear of not doing well is building up. Time is running out and you still have so much more revision to do. Here's advice from experts on how to cope with the exam stress:
» Studying consistently is the key to avoid too much of stress during the exams. It is pointless to cram everything in during the last few days. Keeping up with your homework assignments and doing your reading and revision after each chapter will serve you better in the long run. This way, all that needs to be done before the examinations is a quick revision!
» Have a study method that works for you. For example, work out a separate timetable taht plots when, how much and what to study. And when you're studying, organise what you need to cover, summarise them and make short notes for easy referenece. Ans your teacher if you're not sure about anything.
» Take time out from studying and do something that you enjoy, like roller-blading or listening to music. This helps you to relax, and refreshes your mind so that it will be able to absorb new material when you sit down to revise again. Do this every two to three hours because there is only so much information that your brain can take in a certain amount of time.
» Think positive! Don't compare yourself with your classmates. It will only make you more anxious. Worse still, the panic could even immobilise you and prevent you from getting any study done!
» Set realistic expectations of yourself. Most students find that exams get tougher each year. Don't be discouraged if you don't score as well as you had expected. It is normal that as you progress, it becomes more difficult to get perfect scores!
» Reward yourself with good sleep, healthy food and good breaks!
Seeking Help
While you should be able to handle most stressful situations by yourself or by talking to family and friends, sometimes you may need the help of professionals to beat severe stress. These are the warning signs that you should seek professional help:
» insomnia
» loss of appetite
» feeling tired all the time
» depression or feeling withdrawn
» thoughts of suicide (in extreme cases)
» inability to communicate with others
» unable to concentrate on school work
Stress-Relieving Tips
»Laugh at your mistakes and live with them.
»Eat well.
» Get active - exercise! Working out is one way to beat the blues and refresh your body and mind.
» Keep a journal. Expressing your feelings will make you feel better.
» Talk to others. Don't bottle up all your feelings inside.
» Catch a movie/listen to music to take a break and relax.
Labels: beat stress, coping, eliminate stress, exam stress, How to handle your parents, learn to cope, managing stress, peer pressure, stressed
How you can beat stress
The television is blasting away in the living room; plates and cups clatter noisily in the kitchen; and from your brother's room, a full-blown argument on who gets to go online tonight ensues. And that's not mentioning Mum and Dad's nagging and watchful eyes. As if school, music classes, friends' gossips, and social expectations are not stressful enough! It is natural to wish for days without stress and demands. On the other hand, life would be boring if things were always predictable. We all need challenges and changes from time to time. However, too many demands, unreasonable expectations, excessive pressure and naggy, untimely advice can be frustrating and can potentially trigger stress.
Stress -- What's that?
What is stress really? In simple terms, stress is a condition that results from circum-stances or demands that makes us uncomfortable, unhappy and tense. Given the same set of circumstances or demands, it may trigger stress in some individuals but not in others. In other words, stress is very much an individual response to a set of demands.
Ability to cope
There are bound to be moments when we feel like we can handle big tasks; there are also times when smaller problems seem unbearable. Coping with stress is therefore a relative ability to cope with a given set of demands at the moment in time. When demands are within your ability to cope, there is practically no stress. However, when the demands outweigh your ability to cope, stress sets in. For example, a school examination can be extremely stressful to a person, especially if he or she is unprepared for it. Conversely, if this same person is well prepared for that examination, he or she has an increased ability to cope with the event and becomes less stressed by it.
Attending a party can be great fun for some teenagers, but it could be very stressful for some who might be unprepared due to many reasons -- favorite jeans still in the washer, morning surprise in the form of a new pimple, no matching shoes -- all of which are forms of social demands we place on ourselves. In many instances, the significance of the event or demand also contributes to the degree of stress. For example, if you've been given the final chance at an examination, you'd feel extra stressed to pass it otherwise you'd face expulsion.
Don't let stress break you
When too much weight is placed on a chair for too long, it will eventually break. Similarly, unmanaged stress may affect our physical health and emotional well-being. However, how do we identify the symptoms of stress so that we can do something about it? We cannot help ourselves without first being aware that there may be a potential problem.
Stress signals
It is useful to recognise the manifestations of stress in order to do something about it. Some physical signals may include muscular tension, sweating, change in appetite, sleep problems, chest discomforts, indigestion, tiredness, backache, increased blood pressure or even mouth ulcers. Behavioural reactions such as wanting to be alone, a greater than usual need for the company of others, becoming difficult and complainant may also be indicative of stress.
Q 1. Does stress cause migraine headaches?
Stress may sometimes trigger or aggravate migraine. More commonly, it leads to common headaches. Stress reducing techniques can prevent these or lessen their frequency and severity.
Q 2. Why do I crave for junk food when I'm stressed?
Sometimes, a stressed out person may munch junk food. This act may temporarily make you feel good but in the long term is unhealthy and in time will lead to weight problems, guilt and unhealthy dieting patterns. Instead learn and practise reducing or preventive strategies.
Q 3. How do I know if I'm really stressed?
There are two kinds of symptoms that reveal stress: mental and physical.
Mental symptoms
raquo; Feel stressed and tense
raquo; Feel nervous, excited, easily irritable or behave in an aggressive manner.
raquo; Lack of concentration.
raquo; Poor memory.
raquo; Feel depressed or prefer to be left alone.
Physical symptoms
raquo; Feel easily tired.
raquo; Poor sleep, poor appetite.
raquo; Headaches, chest or stomach pains, breathlessness, fast heart beats
raquo; Feel dizzy or faint
Beating stress
Since stress is a relationship between demands and the ability to cope, we could beat stress by focusing on these two components. The following are some examples:
01. Downsize the demands
Split the work into bite-size tasks and take it step by step, one at a time.This helps you to pregressively fulfill the demands without being intimidated by the problem's overwhelming appearance. In many instances, we do not take that first, starting step because we are overwhelmed by the journey ahead. Take the first step and focus on your immediate abilities. Soon the journey becomes easier and easier. Examples: big school projects, preparing for examinations.
02. Communicate effectively
Parents and teachers may not be able to look at things from your perspective; they are human after all and make mistakes from time to time, too. We have to learn to improve our skills in communicating in a non-confrontational way. Stay in control and hold back the first abusive word that may come to your mind. Stay cool and focus on resolving issues rather than creating new ones. Let your parents know what is bothering you. This may lead them to re-evaluate the pressures that are put on you. Basically, parents don't want to be the bad guys. Examples: naggy parents, high parental expectations, misunderstandings.
03. Increasing the ability to cope
When a task is too big to bear alone, seek help. Friends and family members could be roped in to share the tasks. Examples: organizing an event, housekeeping.
04. Boost your coping ability
Seek practical ways to increase your problem-solving abilities. A quick one is to learn from others and see how they made it through similar problems. Examples: tuition, training, books, advice, counseling, inspirational tools.
Different people react differently to various demands. You could overcome stress by placing it in the right perspective and focusing on managing the demands as well as enhancing your abilities to cope with those demands.
Relax, Man!
It's amazing what a simple tense-relax exercise can do to relieve stress. Try it the next time you feel all balled up.
1. Sit on a comfortable chair.
2. Close your eyes.
3. Clench one fist tightly. Hold the tension for a few seconds and concentrate on it.
4. Release the tension very slowly. Feel the tension draining out of your hand.
5. Repeat the exercise with any part of your body -- face, scalp, eyes, shoulders, abdomen, buttocks, arms and legs.
Labels: ability to cope, beat stress, demands, excessive pressure, family expectations, naggy parents, school expectations, stress, unreasonable expectations