Issues For Gals N Boys

How Do I Deal?

Tips on dealing with breakups

Breaking up is hard to do, we all know that. Some of us have been there, done that, and gone round the block twice. Yet everytime we go through a break up, something in our hearts just snap. Although breakups effect people in different ways, the sense of loss is always present. Try not to blame the breakup on your ex or yourself. It takes two to tango and, in this scenario, both or you just happened to be mismatched. Here are some tips to help you get over a break up. If you're going through one now, try them out. If you're not, keep them in mind for a rainy day. Because, after all, life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get. But you can always carry some safety tips so you're fully prepared when that surprise creeps up on you.

The Denial Syndrome
The worst thing you can do during a break up is to deny it. Don't call your ex over and over again, to ask whether the relationship is over and if it can be salvaged, it's called harassment and it's punishable by law. Accept it and move on.

Grieve for the relationship
Many people associate grieving with death, but it's a very important process when dealing with any sort of loss. Grieving is a healing process that allows you to feel and appreciate your emotions. Sadness, hurt and anger are very normal reactions and grieving helps you make sense of your feelings. Having a ritual of putting things of your ex's away in a storage box can also be part of your grieving process. Embrace grief, it can bring you closure and the strength to carry on.

Sulky sallyDon't wallow in self-pity. That is the worst thing you can do to yourself. Unlike grief, self-pity is a narcissistic excuse not to get on with your life. If you insist on dwelling in your misery, there is little anyone can do to help you. Remember, no one can help you if you don't help yourself. Adopt a positive outlook and things are bound to look up.

Throw away your pastIt's difficult to move on if you are stuck in the past. Since anything can trigger a memory or emotion related to your ex, try to rearrange your surroundings. Put photogrpahs of both of you together away in a box, or just take his or her picture out of your wallet. With your new freedom, you can also participate in activities you would not have done with your ex.

Spend time with your friendsAs the saying goes, time heals all wounds. Spending time with your friends and loved ones would make things easier. Friends are a source of comfort and will do their best to help you get over the break up. Laughter is the best medicine, so hang out with people who get you in stitches, they can take your mind off your ex. Just knowing your friends are there to help you also makes it much easier for you to help yourself. Being around people who care lightens your mood and gives you a reason to be happy. Be patient and let time help you sort things out.

Rebound relationshipsThis is a mistake people make time after time. Do not bounce back into a relationship after a break up. Be very careful not to look for quick fixes by dating old flings. This is a period of time when you would probably be feeling vulnerable and emotional, don't let anyone take advantage of that. Starting a relationship because you are lonely and hurting isn't fair to the person or you. If you do meet someone you are really interested in, wait for a while. If the relationship is really meant to be, a few months wouldn't matter at all.

The future is now
The end of one relationship also marks the beginning of a new one. Renew your relationship with yourself, take time to discover the value of being alone and at peace. You can be happy without a partner. It's also a good time to evaluate what went wrong in the relationship and set standards for future ones. This should keep you from making the same mistake again. With your newfound freedom, take time out to meet new friends and keep up with old ones.

Stop & smell the flowersThis is a chance for you to enjoy being single again. Compared being single to being attached, to find out which you prefer. Look for the qualities you want in your next partner, such as honesty, patience and sensitivity. If you're not ready for another relationship yet, make a list of 'non-negotiable' qualities to deliver you from temptation. Never settle for anything less than the best. You deserve better. It may seem painful and difficult at first, but getting over a break up can be a most liberating experience. Never let one bad experience get you down and ruin your outlook on life. Think happy thoughts and approach Life and Love postively.

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Posted by Unknown :: Sunday, November 26, 2006 :: 0 Comments:

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